Postcard from the Spamosphere

I get tons of spam every day, from free money notifications (National Lottery: Congratulation!!!!!!!!!!!) to offers for low-cost mortgages ("We tried contacting you awhile ago about your low interest morta(ge rate."). Note to spammers: I have a policy that I will not buy anything from you that you can't spell, so I don't need any "st0-ck quotes" or "C_I_A_L_I_S". (Actually, I don't respond to unsolicited email at all, and if we all did that there would be no spam. Together we can make a difference.)

Occasionally, though, a spam message catches my eye because it is so over the top or bizarre that it stands out from the crowd of broken English and ridiculous promises. Not so much that I buy the product, but just enough to get a good laugh. Like this one, for instance:


Subject: Thicker hair within 30 seconds.....complimentary sample
Hmm, 30 seconds. This is faster than the average claim.

Are you suffering form thinning or balding hair? If, yes, then Toppik is right for you.
Toppik is wrong for me.

-Toppik is the world?s #1 solution for insufficient scalp coverage for both MEN and WOMEN
#1? In the whole wide world? This I doubt.

-One application will thicken your locks immediately
Ah ha! It's a giant bottle of mascara!

-There are no medical procedures or medications required for results.
I've gotta admit, this is a plus.

-Take ten years off of your appearance by using Toppik
"Who is that attractive 29-year-old person with the long, thick, luscious eyelashes on his head? I sure hope he's single!"

-Toppik is doctor recommended
...by the same medical professionals who prescribe truckloads of C_I_A_L_I_S daily

-Toppik has over one million satisfied customers
* fine print: "satisfied customers" may mean "recipients of this spam who have not actually launched a Denial of Service attack on our servers"


Thanks, spammers. I know you'll keep the good times rolling.


filed: humor

Do You, Like, Like to Say Like?

"O-like-Kay."

Official Friend of the Brink Ben S.

By (quasi-sardonically) inserting "like" into the middle of a word in casual conversation, Ben confounds all those who thought that the word is so completely overused that it could not saturate our language any further.


filed: random.quotes

New at Google

Google is always coming up with something new to add to their industry-leading search engine. These days they're working on their video search, which uses the closed captions to allow you to search the text of past TV broadcasts. Now they are beginning to accept video contributions, which can be searched just like the TV broadcats, and also viewed. Here's their explanation of Google Video.

For those who wonder, the name Google came from the word googol, which is 1 followed by 100 zeros (here's the story from the horse's mouth).


Google: Google Video Search


filed: cool.web.stuff

Tom Cruise and Scientology

You won't see much Hollywood/celebrity gossip here because I consider our cultural fixation on the personal lives of the stars pretty much stupid and unhealthy. That said, Tom Cruise is freaking me out, and not in the standard movie-star-on-dope way. It seems like he's acting really weird, and I think Scientology may be a big part of the problem.

Scientology (an introduction here) claims to be "an applied religious philosophy", but many say that it is a business or a cult. Founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard, its history goes back to the 1950s and over the years it has been the subject of articles in Time, Readers' Digest, the Boston Herald and the New York Times. The Church of Scientology apparently holds to an amazing account of ancient earth history, but most of the criticism of the group (here and here) focuses on their alleged coercion and use of mind-control techniques. Known to be very well funded and extremely litigious, they often sue to suppress damaging information or dissemination of their materials.

Tom Cruise is one of a number of high-profile Hollywood Scientologists, who are said to receive very special treatment by the organization. Now the new love of his life, Katie Holmes, has decided to convert to Scientology in the course of their whirlwind romance. In the article featured below, Fox's entertainment columnist tiptoes around the issue but obviously suspects that Holmes has been subjected to some kind of brainwashing procedures (and he's not the only one who smells a rat). Oh, and Cruise argued with Matt Lauer over the Scientology hot-button topic of psychiatry. All of this has Cruise seeming a lot more creepy than cool lately.


FoxNews: Katie Holmes' Missing Days


Sardonic alt-rockers Cake have a song called Comfort Eagle whose lyrics seem to be speaking about Scientology. Or maybe not; you never can tell with music these days...

filed: entertainment; religion

Geek Humor, Continued

Here' s the other funny entry in that index:


Loop, Infinite: See Infinite Loop


Click the link for more info.

Get it now? Just keep clicking until it makes sense.

=-)


filed: humor

FireFox, Baby!

You know how it is when you get something new that you're not sure you need, but then you realize how awesome it is and wonder how you got along without it? Like when they used to eat bread in hunks, but then somebody started slicing it, leading directly to the Earl of Sandwich and thence to modern civilization as we know it?

FireFox is kinda like that. It's a cool, sleek, browser that replaces the clunky, old Internet Explorer that you're currently using. It's quick and easy to install, fast and easy to use, and takes no relearning to get started. You can use it just like IE, but it has some cool little features that really grow on you. For instance, pressing Ctrl while you click on a link opens the new page in a separate tab inside the FireFox window, so if you have 10 pages open they don't cover your taskbar but sit politely in the FireFox window where you can switch between them or close them at will.

Also, for if you're getting into blogs and blogging, you'll love its built-in RSS reader. What this capability means is that on any RSS-enabled web page (like most blogs including this one, as well as FoxNews.Com, ESPN.Com and many other sites featuring constantly-added articles and content), you can simply click the small orange button that appears at the bottom of the browser and "subscribe" to the RSS feed. The feed is saved as a bookmark folder in FireFox, with a bookmark for each of the currently available articles. When the browser restarts it then refreshes the feeds to which you have subscribed, and you can see at a glance what is new with all of your favorite sites without having to visit them each individually or comb through the stories on the site for things that interest you.

So hey, it's cool and free--sheck it out!


FireFox: Rediscover the Web


filed: cool.web.stuff

Geek Humor

The funniest thing I have ever seen in a computer manual involved an index entry in the back of the book (go figure). Although that's not saying much, since I don't read too many manuals--I usually only crack them open to find out what I just blew up. Anyway, the entry is below:


Infinite Loop: See Loop, Infinite


filed: humor

NBA Champions...and the Stuff they Wear

I'm basking in the glow of the Spurs' Championship today, as they are the Official NBA Team of the Brink. I heard from my people in San Antonio that there were happy fans gridlocking downtown freeways and honking their horns last night, but I haven't seen any reports of rioting or burning stores or cars. I guess we don't mess with Texas. According to this article, there were off-duty Subway employees ("a self-described sandwich artist") directing traffic with Spurs flags and septuagenarians in waist-length peroxide wigs pouring out of retirement centers to party in the streets. That's good times.

I also hear there were so many people trying to get into the Academy stores to buy Spurs championship gear that they were beyond fire code and that the people lined up outside could only come in as others left. Which begs the question: Where do they get so many hats and shirts only moments after the champion is decided? And also, what if the Pistons had won? Well, there's an interesting story about that...

ESPN.com: Tracking the Merchandise

filed: sports

Snowmen

"There's nothing wrong with loving a snowman."

Friend of the Brink Adam F.

Sometimes you hear a great, or funny, or bizarre thing--or maybe it's all of those--and you just have to share it. Often these quotes need context to be appreciated, but sometimes they are best all by themselves. This is one of those times.

filed: random.quotes

What's My Word?

Have you ever not known what a word meant? Were you embarrassed by your lack of knowledge? Did you lose a promotion, a job, or even a limb? These things will never happen again if you use today's cool web tool, www.m-w.com. With a cool dictionary that can even read words aloud, you'll be able to learn all of the verbiage you need. All this for only zero payments of zero dollars each!

And, if you act now, you can also use their thesaurus, which makes it possible for you to find other words that are similar to words you already know! If it's good enough for us here at the Brink, it's good enough for you! Don't wait--click now!

Merriam-Webster Online: Free Dictionary, Thesaurus and more!

filed: cool.web.stuff

What is 'Mainstream'?

"If some in the minority were as insightful as they claim to be about 'mainstream America' they would not be in the minority. The fact is, many of these three nominees' fiercest critics neither understand nor agree with mainstream America on many issues..."

Sen. Tom Coburn, R-Oklahoma, hailing the confirmation of Justices Janice Rogers Brown, Priscilla Owen and William Pryor as victories for the mainstream

That's a pretty good zinger for a senator, what with the august Senate's more, uh, collegial atmosphere.

FoxNews: Searching for the Definition of 'Mainstream'

filed: politics.us

Hello, World!

Well, I've talked about blogging for a while now, so I'm taking the plunge. I guess I'll just post about whatever interests me, which may or may not include, but will probably not be limited to: US politics, Texas GOP politics, fantasy football, sports news, cool web stuff, geeky science and technology items, movies, philosophy, religion and humor. Wait, don't leave--it'll be great!