The Gatorade Dunk

Have you ever wondered who started the rather strange custom of throwing a bucket of Gatorade on the coach of a winning team? Seems that it was back in 1985 in the NFL, when New York Giants defensive lineman Jim Burt decided to exact revenge on coach Bill Parcells, who had been "motivating" him all week about his matchup with Redskins offensive lineman Jeff Bostic. At the end of the Giants' 17-3 win, Burt took his life in his hands and dumped the rest of the sideline cooler of Gatorade on his notoriously, uh, hard-nosed coach. But Parcells apparently accepted it good-naturedly, and the team kept it up as another superstitious tradition. TV viewers loved it, as the cameras focused on the sideline near the end of wins to catch the big moment.

And of course the Gatorade people couldn't have been any happier.


ESPN.com: How the Dunk was Born


filed: sports

Gentlemen, Start Your Pregnancies?

A Canadian woman has given birth to a 4 pound, 13 ounce baby at about 8 months. This, in itself, is not unusual. The surprising part is this: the baby gestated outside of the mothers' womb, growing instead in her abdominal cavity with the head against her liver.

Doctors say that there is a theoretical possibility that anyone, even a man, could carry a child. But before signing up to be the first human male to bear a child, take note that there are some complications. The baby was born with dislocated hips and club feet, and the new mom says that "“it felt like razors cutting me up from inside every time she moved."” That's in addition to the usual stuff--weight gain, morning sickness, strange food cravings...

But hey, seahorses can do it.


GlobeandMail.com: Miracle baby gives men pregnant pause


filed: health

Germany: Too Much Welfare?

It's interesting to look at the issues in Germany's upcoming election. Incumbent Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder is in grave danger of being ousted in spite of his popular anti-US views, largely because of large and growing economic problems.

It seems that Germany's generous social welfare programs are being burdened by an aging poplulation and high unemployment and have become unaffordable, dragging the country ever further into debt. Also, German industry has sky-high labor costs because of laws ensuring high salaries to workers and because of powerful labor unions. Autoworkers, for instance, make $41.37 per hour. Employers are downsizing and moving jobs to other countries, causing further unemployment problems.

Challenger Angela Merkel describes the problem this way: “What do I do in an economy where 1,000 skilled jobs disappear every day and where, at the same time, my entire social security system, pension, unemployment and health insurance are financed by this shrinking pool of full-time jobs?” So in the perverse irony of big government, all of the social programs and mandated employer benefits designed to take care of workers are strangling the economy and erasing their jobs, and the only solution--lowering those benefits--will harm the workers in their time of need.

Americans beware: This is how a welfare state bottoms out, and it isn't pretty.


FoxNews.com: German Election May Revive U.S. Relations


filed: politics.world

Control Outside the Box

Nintendo is giving a sneak peak at the controller that will ship with the new Revolution game system next year. It looks and feels a lot like a TV remote, which may come as a relief to those daunted by the multi-button, multi-joystick remotes on current systems--it seems that Nintendo is reaching out to those outside the traditional hardcore gaming demographic. But industrial-strength gamers can easily add a secondary pod with all the buttons and joysticks they need, in a configuration called the "nunchuck controller". Plus, the controller is motion sensitive, making possible games where you use the controller as a gun or a fishing rod and the action translates to the screen.

Nintendo seems to be leading the way in the gaming space with some prooty cool human interface products--their handheld gaming system Nintendo DS has two screens and a stylus, also not standard fare in the video gaming world. I guess we'll have to wait and see if they can get people to buy all of their creative ideas, but they look good to me. As someone who can't hit the broad side of a tank using an analog joystick I'd love to try that nunchuck setup. And release my inner ninja.


Wired News: Hands On With the Revolution


filed: technology

Hurricane Devastation

I'm sorting through feelings today about the hurricane aftermath. I can't begin to comprehend the pain and suffering, the human toll being experienced not too far away from me. I feel guilty because the only suffering it has caused me is high gas prices. I am proud that Texas is able to help out, both officially and privately. And I feel like an idiot for talking about my own feelings as if they are at all relevant to the situation or worthy of notice in such a time.

I am disgusted by the political posturing that is going on while the bodies of dead Americans still float face-down through our own streets. There are political points to be made, but let's save the hyperbole until after we save the dying, shall we?

I am also trying to come to grips with what kind of people would shoot at rescue workers. I might expect this from some insane warlord trying to oppress his people, but here..? It seems that there are desperate people "taking pot shots at police and at helicopters, telling them, 'You better come get my family.'" Also shooting at authorities is apparently the same criminal element that the police in New Orleans fight every day. I heard a Louisiana resident on a call-in show today characterize the flood-ravaged 9th Ward as a dangerous neighborhood. This first-person blog entry describes the 9th Ward as "desperately poor", the "New Orleans no one wants to see", with burned out cars, wooden shacks and liquor stores scattered about. It stands to reason that this area is no less dangerous after the breakdown of law and order, and with everyone there experiencing the same desperation that all of the survivors must be feeling. Also, with looting and rape and other illegal activities there would surely be violence as well. Still, why would you shoot at rescue workers?

This CNN story/blog has lots of first-person accounts of various situations in Louisiana and Mississippi. The New Orleans Times-Picayune weblog (featuring tons of local content and commentary on the situation) mentions that many homeless are "drunk on looted liquor in a city without drinking water". Seems hard to blame them too much, I guess. It also notes that the situation today seemed to improve markedly.

If you have resources to give, think about the Red Cross and the Salvation Army.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all those affected. May God be with you.


filed: current.events

Superpower? China Makes Its Play

Have you been wondering what country will challenge the globe's current one-superpower structure? Meet China.

A superpower must have enough economic and military clout to get other countries to align with them. While China's economy is relatively small per-capita compared with western nations, it is growing, and they seem to be doing a better job than the old Soviet Union of mixing socialism (which is an economic wet blanket, to say the least) with capitalism. While both China and the former USSR are/were socialist states, they had very different economic structures starting in the late 1970s. The Soviet Union was very similar to North Korea in that a tremendous percentage of their resources went into the military while their economy at home was always teetering on the edge of disaster. Their manufacturing was shoddy, even for their military equipment, and their collective farms were terrible. (They were really good at espionage, however, and extremely successful in stealing information from the West.) China, on the other hand, shouldn't suffer from manufacturing problems, as that is an area of expertise for them. This excerpt from the CIA World Factbook entry for China paints a picture of their economic progress:

In late 1978 the Chinese leadership began moving the economy from a sluggish, inefficient, Soviet-style centrally planned economy to a more market-oriented system. Whereas the system operates within a political framework of strict Communist control, the economic influence of non-state organizations and individual citizens has been steadily increasing. The authorities switched to a system of household and village responsibility in agriculture in place of the old collectivization, increased the authority of local officials and plant managers in industry, permitted a wide variety of small-scale enterprises in services and light manufacturing, and opened the economy to increased foreign trade and investment. The result has been a quadrupling of GDP since 1978.

As they grow economically they are plowing resources into their military as well. China's military has historically been long on manpower but short on technology--in WW2 the much smaller Japan had their way with China. But obviously they are trying to change all of that now.

As a growing power both economically and militarily, China is embarking on the next step toward superpower status. It appears that they are trying to cultivate satellite states among the bad actors and despotic regimes of (resource-rich) Africa.


FoxNews: China, Africa Dictator Links Ring Alarms


If they get their gear together, with a population of 1.3 billion (US: 0.3 billion), they might make quite a powerful superpower.


filed: politics.world

Original Column: The Emperor Has No Clothes

Note: It has come to my attention that some of the content of this blog may seem a little dry to certain groups of people, nay, to entire swaths of the population. To you I say this: You will continue to get what you pay for. However, I do have some stuff that's a little more fun, and I'd like to mix it in here and there.

This is one in a series of columns I wrote for a local newsletter in the past couple of years. The column was called The Brink of Normal, and was full of humor and truly fun for all ages. I have wanted to start republishing the columns here, and this seems a perfect time to start. This one's for you, America. And really for the whole english-speaking world.

The Emperor Has No Clothes!

Yes, I said it, and I’m not sorry. This has gone on long enough, and somebody had to get the truth out there. That’s how it always is. It always falls to those of us on the edges, at The Brink of Normal, to do the dirty work and be the first to say what you and everyone else is thinking.

Now the reason you don’t think I know what you were thinking is because somehow I started this column at the end and you have no idea what I’m talking about. You’re challenging me to tell you what you were thinking. Gotcha.

OK, here’s what we were all thinking: There is a no real difference between things that are stupid and things that are cool.

Most of you out there are probably freaked out that I read your mind. For those of you who may not have actually been thinking this exact thought, let me explain.

Here is a little boy in his front yard after a rain. He is inquisitive, he is young, he is eating snails. Is this cool? “No!”, we all shout! “This is disgusting! Someone stop the little boy and teach him not to eat snails!"

Meanwhile at a downtown restaurant whose name has more vowels than consonants a man is looking at a menu written completely in French. He summons the waiter, pronouncing his name easily, and expertly orders escargot for himself and the lady. She is impressed with his sophistication.

What is wrong with this picture? They are eating snails! The boy in his yard and the man at the restaurant are engaged in the same activity, and while one is taken to the doctor as a precaution the other enjoys his meal in high style. How can this be?

The answer lies deep in the human psyche. With our built-in desire for acceptance we try to choose a herd and follow wherever they may go. If someone is able to convince a leader that something is cool, the entire group will likely follow right along without a peep lest they be found unworthy of membership. This has been going on since long before the emperor was scammed by the people with the invisible clothes, and there is always a need for people like little children and yours truly to tell the herd what is what.

Now that I have exposed escargot for what it really is, I’d like to move on to that bastion of unthinking herd behavior we call fashion. From your local department store to designer runways in Milan the entire industry is all about leading-but still being a part of-the herd.

The problem with fashion is that you can’t escape it because you have to wear clothes, and no matter what you wear it makes a statement about who you are. That’s not a big problem if you like to make a statement, but I’m pretty much past that now and I just wear clothes because it separates me from the animals. My clothes are beginning to tell everyone that I haven’t cared about fashion since sometime in the last millennium.

Are you beginning to see what a racket we’re dealing with here? If I don’t pony up and buy whatever the fashion herd has anointed as cool, I am perceived as a cave-dweller or fuddy-duddy by everyone I meet. Fortunately for me my wife makes me stay reasonably fashionable, but what about all those people who don’t have someone to keep them in line? It’s an outrage.

For the people at the top of the fashion food chain things aren’t exactly hunky-dory either. How many actresses have attended a glitzy awards show wearing a $100,000 gown by a big name designer that appears to have been crafted from facial tissue and fishing tackle? Everybody stands around and says how the dress flatters her and the designer is a visionary, but in the back of their minds they’re wondering if that’s actually Kleenex and fishhooks.

And what about art? Perhaps you’ve seen one of those exhibits that appears to be a canvas salvaged from a paint factory explosion. The museum guide reverently explains that it was from a very bitter time in the artist’s life and that this work reflects a deep angst and anger unparalleled in any paintings of that period, which explains why it was appraised at 40 bazillion dollars. You suspect that it was created by a monkey on a motorcycle, but you say nothing.

So it seems that the only thing that separates the acceptable from the ridiculous is the majority’s belief that something is indeed acceptable. And this is why, when I see the latest crazy new thing, I again think to myself that the emperor does indeed have no clothes.

So now that you know the secret, you can change the world. The new world will be based on substance instead of style, reality instead of perception, steak instead of sizzle. I wish you luck in your quest.

If you need me I’ll be in the basement trying to make 40 bazillion bucks with my angst, anger and tempera paint.

filed: humor; column

It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's a Bird-Plane?

Here's the question that's been nagging at us all: why has nobody since Wilbur and Orville looked at our feathered friends when they designed a plane? The Wright brothers, of course, daydreamed about flight while watching birds and managed to get into the air themselves using observations they made. But in the first 100 years of flight almost all heavier-than-air flying machines have been more or less rigid structures with fixed wings. With very powerful engines, planes travel much faster than birds, but have almost zero maneuverability comparatively.

While that has fit our needs for aircraft up until now, there seems to be a developing market for low-speed, highly-maneuverable small craft as mini-robotic drone planes. So it's back to the birds. While this little prototype hardly flaps it's wings (watch the video to see it slowly move its wings) it has obviously taken a cue from the avian world. And I think we can all agree that that's long overdue.


MSNBC.com: Futuristic Spy Plane Maneuvers Like a Bird


Bonus science news: I include this interesting tidbit mostly because the headline is so fun to say. Say it out loud for maximum effect. (Anemone must be pronounced correctly)

MSNBC.com Enemy Anemones wage all-out war


filed: science; technology

Free Speech and Stupidity

This whole free speech thing is a messy business, what with all of the idiots clogging our public discourse with idiocy, but what is the alternative? You could follow in the footsteps of Turkmenistan, which has outlawed lip-synching and opera, or maybe North Korea, where long hair for men is definitely bad.

While I am not a big fan of opera or long hair, I have begun to see the advantages of lip-synching. If we are going to continue to churn out singers whose main talent is actually sexiness, we must not let them perform without the benefit of electronic assistance. The screeching hurts my ears.

However, the main point here is this: One of the most important freedoms we have is the freedom to be stupid. If you outlaw dumb behavior or idiotic opinions then you have some government committee or official deciding what is criminally stupid. Given the corruption that comes with power, "criminally stupid" quickly devolves into "disagrees with me", and we might as well be some two-bit dictatorship.

Of course there must be legal limits to stupidity. One handy line to draw is that your stupidity must not harm others. You don't have the right to falsely yell "FIRE" in a crowded building. However, sometimes even stupidity that hurts others should not be interfered with. For instance, if a parent believes and teaches their children that the earth is flat, should the children be taken away? Teaching lies to kids is harmful, but what can you do besides set up a "Truth Committee" to police parents? And what lies are harmful enough to take away children? How about "Santa Clause brings presents?" Or would the Committee allow "The government is wrong?"

I think not.


filed: politics

It's a Documentary - It Must Be True

We commented recently in passing about Morgan Spurlock's Super Size Me documentary, which blasts McDonalds' food as unhealthy to the point of deadliness. This article takes issue with some of his claims:

FoxNews: Spurlock Food Scare a Super Size Scam

Whaaaat? A "documentary" film with an axe to grind that skews the facts? Say it isn't so. Michael Moore must be livid right now that the integrity of his chosen medium is being dragged down by shoddy fact-checking and inattention to the rules of logic. Oh wait. It turns out Moore's own filmmaking methods are being called into question by ANOTHER documentary called Michael Moore Hates America, and here's an old article (from Slate magazine??!?!) that picks apart the logic of his Fahrenheit 9/11 movie into little bitty pieces.

No real point here, I guess, except that it's clear the documentary movie business seems to be dominated by idealogical partisans with a point to make, rather than by unimpassioned observers seeking to find the truth. Or maybe these are the only kind of documentaries that make the news...

filed: media; us.politics

An American in Japan

I found an interesting blog written by an American guy living in Japan. It's kind of a chronicle of his life there, and features, as he says, "fantastic and unremarkable stories from afar". It makes for surprisingly engrossing reading, featuring as it does so many normal, mundane, slice-of-life stories and observations. I don't know how much we have in common--for instance, he is a semi-militant vegan, while I only eat meat as much as possible--but it's cool to see another perspective, and also an American-eye view of Japan. I've often thought that you can't really see a country unless you leave the tourist spots and live with the people somehow, and that's exactly what he's doing. Note: Don't visit if you're offended by the occasional profanity.


Japanatter: Ramblings from my life in Japan


filed: etcetera

I'm Back!

After a few weeks of work-induced silence, I'm ready to keep bringing all of my fans (both of my fans? Hello? Anybody?) the stuff you just can't get anywhere else. Or at least links to it.

In that spirit, here is some news you can use about cheerleaders doing their part for society.


ESPN.com: Cheerleaders foil hit-and-run with help of chant


filed: etcetera

Lose Weight on the McDiet

Subway has been doing those "Jared" commercials with the guy that lost weight eating their subs. Wienerschnitzel spoofed them with their "Chili-Dog Diet" promotion. And now a woman claims to have lost 33 pounds on two months of a McDonalds-only diet, in an experience obviously quite different from that of Morgan Spurlock of Super Size Me fame, who GAINED 25 pounds in a month of eating only McFood.


FoxNews: Losing Pounds Under the Golden Arches


So let's get this straight: You can lose weight at Subway; you can gain spectacular amounts of weight at McDonalds; now you can lose a ton at McDonalds as well. In fact, I'll bet you could actually gain weight eating at Subway!

I wish I knew what to believe. I wish there was a place where I could get all the correct information I want without having to worry about what I was actually learning. I've tried mass media, but I got confused by the unacknowledged liberal bias. I've tried talk radio and it's full of overt conservative editorializing and opinions. And new media sources are even less balanced.

It's like I have to actually think about everything now or risk coming to errant conclusions. Just like I have to think about what I eat.


filed: health; media

Non-Mexicans Hopping the Border

US Border Patrols agents are apparently catching a substantial number of illegal immigrants coming up through Mexico who are not Mexicans. Unlike Mexican citizens, who are normally returned to Mexico to try to come across again the next day, Mexico will not accept citizens of other countries. So, we check them against terror watch lists and what not, and if that doesn't raise any flags we apparently just let them go. INTO OUR COUNTRY. Unbelievable.

It's not that I have any problem with immigrants, what with the US being the land of opportunity, and it seems to me that we need more liberal immigration policies to allow more good folks from other lands to come here legally. However, with our urgent and well-founded concern with terrorism today, it is ludicrous to make it so easy for our enemies to sneak in and wreak whatever havoc enters their heads.

Tom Clancy wrote a book in which Islamic terrorists entered the US through Mexico and attacked shopping malls with machine guns in suicide missions. Fiction, yes. But another Clancy thriller (published in 1994, well before 9/11/2001) has a bad guy flying a fuel-laden airliner into a joint session of Congress. Chilling...


Yahoo: Non-Mexicans arrested at US Border nearly doubled


filed: politics.us

Whence Caffeine?

Many of us enjoy caffeine, some of us REALLY like it and could "quit any time", but few of us know much about it. Have you, for instance, thought about the history of caffeine, or asked some of the hard questions like "Does caffeine reduce the effects of alcohol?", "Is caffeine a diet requirement?", and "Is coffee really good for hyperactive children?" This is stuff you must know.


Caffeine: Any Health Risks?


filed: etcetera

A Plane in Every Garage?

60 Minutes ran a report today about NASA's Highway in the Sky program, which is supposed to open up airways for huge numbers of personal aircraft. The piece also profiled several inventors who are working on innovative machines that are gunning for a piece of this new market.

But if a jet is more your style, check out this little baby--it's a six-passenger jet that is supposed to be about 1/4 as expensive and 1/3 to 1/5 the cost to fly as the current smallest business jet. And hey, they're only 900,000 bucks so just pick one up for me while you're there. That would be great. Thanks.


CBS News: Flying Cars Ready to Take Off


P.S. Snowman, you wanted a plane article? This one's for you.


filed: technology

Weekend Fireworks

I like fireworks. I like weekends. I would like to present some fireworks for your weekend.

Homestarrunner.com is, quite simply...one of the harder things to explain that I have found on the crazy WWW of ours. It is a site that brings us the cartoon hijinks of an eclectic cast of characters, including Homestar Runner, who is not the star, and Strong Bad, a sarcastic little dude who does wear a mexican wrestling mask and boxing gloves but does not wear a shirt. Strong Bad is in charge of the sites' most popular feature, Strong Bad Email, in which he answers emails from viewers like you. Strong Bad Email has given us classic moments like the Guitar email, and later, an email called Dragon that spawned its own video game.

What would the world be like without people who walk that fine line between genius and insanity? Thanks to Homestarrunner.com, we may never need to know.

P.S. This one is for those who can't stop editing things. You know who you are.


filed: humor

London Bombings: Anti-Globalists or al Qaeda?

If you're like me you're a little unclear about the motivation behind all of the violence over the years at economic summits like the G8 meetings this week. Of course, the Live 8 concerts this past weekend were aimed at influencing the conference as well.

So who are these people who are so worked up about the G8? Short answer--Socialists, Marxists and anti-globalists. All are opposed to free trade and hold to the basic Marxist view that rich people are obviously hurting poor people because they are rich, so they owe it to the poor to help them escape poverty. (see this chatter for some representative Marxist thought.)

So, while we're all used to Islamic terrorism, maybe we'll learn that today's bombings are actually anti-globalist violence, given their timing and location in Britain during the G8 summit in Britain. However, anti-globalist extremist tactics have been more about rioting than coordinated mass-transit bombings, and authorities are already pointing toward al Qaeda. It seems much more likely that al Qaeda is trying to toy with the politics of Britain (where Tony Blair faces pressure to withdraw from Iraq), just as they did in Spain (attacking and successfully affecting an election whose winners immediately withdrew their troops from Iraq) and the US (bin Laden belittled Bush and threatened America days before the election, but Americans re-elected him).

Whoever the terrorists are, this American's deepest sympathies are with those who have been victimized in another yet another indefensible act of violence against innocents.


filed: politics:world

Steinem and 200 protesters

In a huge development yesterday, US feminist Gloria Steinem and the granddaughter of convicted communist spies Julius and Ethel Rosenburg were accompanied by 200 protesters as they demanded the shutdown of the U.S. detention camp at Guantanamo Bay. The AP story made the rounds in US news outlets and in the Middle East on Al Jazeera. (Al Jazeera's story is a clinic in western-style, state-the-facts-but-twist-the-meaning biased journalism. It also features a European government report absolving the US of torture allegations but recommending the base be closed because of its damage to the U.S. reputation and because it fosters hatred of the US in prisoners, some of whom aren't that bad.) In Cuba's version of the story there were "hundreds" of protesters in a "massive" demonstration.

This is why conservatives believe that liberals hate this country (that, and things like the protesters at the funerals of our soldiers). Gloria Steinem is only the latest in a long line of distinguished left-wing figures (like Sen. Dick Durbin, who likened Guantanamo "abuses" to those of the Nazis and Soviets) to tickle the ears of our enemies looking for anti-american propoganda. Am I overstating? She compared the radical Islamic inmates at Guantanamo to the Puritans, noting that "they came to escape the very things - detention without due process, bias, a religious government ... that we protest today." Memo to Ms. Steinem: prisoners of war are not afforded the same constitutional protections as US citizens, and they never have been. And neither are the citizens of Iran or Saudi Arabia, which are home to many of these prisoners and whose governments are far more "religious" than ours.

Why is this even news? 200 protesters in NYC? Please. And it isn't because they came up with any solutions. Now if Gloria had invited the terrorists over to her place so they could rest more comfortably, THAT would be news.

filed: politics.us

Postcard from the Spamosphere

I get tons of spam every day, from free money notifications (National Lottery: Congratulation!!!!!!!!!!!) to offers for low-cost mortgages ("We tried contacting you awhile ago about your low interest morta(ge rate."). Note to spammers: I have a policy that I will not buy anything from you that you can't spell, so I don't need any "st0-ck quotes" or "C_I_A_L_I_S". (Actually, I don't respond to unsolicited email at all, and if we all did that there would be no spam. Together we can make a difference.)

Occasionally, though, a spam message catches my eye because it is so over the top or bizarre that it stands out from the crowd of broken English and ridiculous promises. Not so much that I buy the product, but just enough to get a good laugh. Like this one, for instance:


Subject: Thicker hair within 30 seconds.....complimentary sample
Hmm, 30 seconds. This is faster than the average claim.

Are you suffering form thinning or balding hair? If, yes, then Toppik is right for you.
Toppik is wrong for me.

-Toppik is the world?s #1 solution for insufficient scalp coverage for both MEN and WOMEN
#1? In the whole wide world? This I doubt.

-One application will thicken your locks immediately
Ah ha! It's a giant bottle of mascara!

-There are no medical procedures or medications required for results.
I've gotta admit, this is a plus.

-Take ten years off of your appearance by using Toppik
"Who is that attractive 29-year-old person with the long, thick, luscious eyelashes on his head? I sure hope he's single!"

-Toppik is doctor recommended
...by the same medical professionals who prescribe truckloads of C_I_A_L_I_S daily

-Toppik has over one million satisfied customers
* fine print: "satisfied customers" may mean "recipients of this spam who have not actually launched a Denial of Service attack on our servers"


Thanks, spammers. I know you'll keep the good times rolling.


filed: humor